You Know You Wanna

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 05:50:02 GMT

It's been three days. I have the feeling that I am going to fold. I guess I'll just write a stupid letter explaining what I did wrong, what I felt (alkjeioaneklnoi) did wrong, and so on. I don't know. Right now I just want to go to bed.

It's gettin' late

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 08:15:11 GMT

In reflection of the past few days there is the clear indication that the little raft of life is most certainly going to go through a few rapids. My raft has gotten stuck in a rough section, but all the little rivers and streams whether rough, or like glass lead up to the great oceans. One day I'll be able to reach that ocean and be free to turn in any direction. Certainly the trials faced out there are considerably worse, yet they seem to be avoidable unlike the rough rapids of the rivers. I guess it will all make sense once I'm there.

For now I will discover the music of Reynaldo Hahn, and contemplate why I think it's beautiful.

The realization that I have a physical/emotional reaction when I hear music that I think is beautiful, came to me today. It happened in Humanities while we listened to the Prelude to Bach's Suite for Cello No.1. Afterwards I came back to my room and listened to Strauss's Four Last Songs. Once again this physical/emotional wiggling, chill bumps, tears, and swaying occured. I am going to take it as a sign that I've chosen the right thing for me. I love music and that is what I want to do. I don't care if all I do is listen to it. Just as long as I can be around it, in it, and experiencing it. (I feel so hokey reading this over, but the fact of the matter is that I don't care, I truly feel like this. There is just so much beautiful music that I haven't experienced and want to, and hopefully will. And all the music I've heard and loved I want to remember and hear over and over.)

I think I should go to bed before I get to into this entry.

Graham

Awww, the poor baby.

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 22:26:47 GMT

I have this feeling in my stomach that I've forgotten to do something. I know I have a research paper due tomorrow, and I need to type-up my German text, translation, and do the correct IPA symbols for Friday. I also have my Music History Exam tomorrow. I feel really confused, though. Something has slipped through the cracks, and I can't identify it. I also have to make up an AP Chemistry test tomorrow. So much studying. So much work. Tis, the time I guess.

That oh fuck feeling has set in, Yay!

Lah-ti-dah

graham

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 04:02:38 GMT


oprah is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

I love it!

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 05:29:26 GMT

got bored and changed my lj, its beautiful!

I should be studying Economics, but WUTEVA!

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 17:47:08 GMT

Today = one of those: boring, not very eventful, just chillin', want to take a nap, Holy Moses I'm bored...but I can't stop laughing about it, do I have to, I don't want to, I think I'm gonna puke, Ahhh much better, AVERAGE SCGSAH Days.

What more can I say, nothing's changed. Except for a few things: friendships, sleeping habits, study habits, and practicing habits.

Why does it feel like it's completely different?
I've decided I don't like it here, and I'll probably feel this way until graduation, and then I'll just want to see a few people after that. My attitudes torward spending time with those I care about, not necessarily the ones who care about me, has become less important and it is showing its profits in my musicianship and my academics. But I don't want to leave here with this feeling that I spent this past, about 7 months, of my life wishing I wasn't where I had been. Many of the people who care about me, I don't want to be around any longer, and that is sad, but unavoidably true. I guess I'm being greedy and bitchy but that is okay with me right now.

Got my SAT score finally, it is a 1200, so I can further the college application process now, instead of skipping that section, and the continuing.

I have a gig on Sunday at Mr. Hebert's church, that should be interesting. And then I have another one at Postcard from Paris around Christmas time to do carols for about 1 hr.

tootles, got to get back to the mad crazy world of Economics!

Graham

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 18:41:28 GMT

HAWT NEW LJ LAYOUT, THANKS MARQUIS!

Get back into the brothel

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 01:25:49 GMT

Deleting everyone from my friends list and then adding who I wanted to back felt really good. If I didn't add you back it's probably because we never talk to each other, or I can't remember who you are.

I am sad, because I can't talk to someone. I love you though. Hopefully you'll read this, since I'm to chicken shit to call you, write a letter, etc. But I also want you to know that I'm hurt. I don't know what to say, besides I love you, and...(sigh)

IN OTHER NEWS:

Renee Fleming was simply outstanding. I am so glad I got to see her. Her dress was totally hot, even though there wasn't any cleavage. She also did three encores just because she's that fucking awesome. Her last one was Some Where Over the Rainbow, and even though I'm not a huge fan of the song, it was freaking awesome. What was even greater was when I asked this woman if she was Jesse Norman, because I swear to God, it looked just like her. It wasn't though, her name was Brenda, and she was pretty fabulous herself. I also had no idea someone could have such great presence while also seeming like a wal-mart greeter, approachable and friendly.

Graham

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 02:17:48 GMT

MOTHER OF ALL THINGS BEATUFIL, MUSICAL, AND SHOULD I SAY HOLY...

I'M GOING TO SEE RENEE FLEMING!

Why am I so excited, she is only the number one fucking soprano in the world. Well atleast some may say she is number one, but the fact is is that I'm going to go see her and she is very very good.

The Repertoire for the evening includes:

MOZART Symphony No. 35 in D Major

R. STAUSS Four Last Songs for Soprano and Orchestra

VERDI Sinfonia form Aida

CILEA Io son l'umile ancella from Adriana Lecouvreur

CATALANI Ebben? ...Ne adnro lontan from La Wally

VERDI Overtrue to to Aroldo

PUCCINI O mio babbino caro from Gianni Schicchi

VERDI Merce, dilette amiche (Bolero) from I vespri siciliani

I'm going to cry when I see this you guys

Graham

PS: I hate to be bragging but this is something that is like one of those exciting life changing, things that you look forward to and never forget. OMG I:M SO FUCKING EXCITED.

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 18:38:43 GMT

I'm sitting here in my room, and I just read something that made me upset. Before that I found out something that made me jealous and then something else that made me upset. But before that I went to the soup kitchen and helped people so that makes it better. Before the soup kitchen I fucked up my part in Chamber and so did like everyone else, so Mr. Hebert is mad. I don't care though. And the fact that I live with someone that cares about me and doesn't treat me like shit, really helps every thing else go down a little easier.

I find it freakish that music has been infiltrated into my life and become so important, when before it didn't mean anything at all. I didn't know who Handel, or Schubert was. Now I am singing things they wrote. Its just weird.

I need to go practice. Why? Because I'm a good person and not only am I practicing for myself but I'm also helping out a junior vocalist who I am considering slightly at risk. The girl has got to get it, because I refuse to see someone I like so much not get asked to come back for the second semester. So I have to devote some of my own time to sitting in a practice room with her and if necessary playing her song for her if she can't get it. I can help her do this, I know it!

I love you!
grammy-pants

Selfish entry

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 01:23:02 GMT

so for this week...

I pierced the cartilidge in my right ear, and I love it.
I bought two over priced Calvin Klein pillows at TJ Maxx for $20
I called Judi, crying, and wanting to run away.
Went downtown, and did naughty things.
Had a baby...wait no I didn't.
Got married to Megan Murph...wait, I didn't do that either.

Be good children

I loves you

Douchy Entry

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 17:31:51 GMT

Dummkopf! Vei shpiek ju not GERMAN? Ju mast komplei
and tschensch jur kurrent Lenkwetsch reit nau!

What language are you supposed to speak?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 00:05:32 GMT

wooooT!

Thank you Katie Campbell, Stinger eliminated 32 worms and one douche virus from my PC. It is happy now.

So this semi-charmed sort of life is little to be desired. I mean a lot of shit has gone down this week. It still isn't over yet. However I have to say the I'm in love with my room. It is nice. We have left it in the original set-up. We have a tv w/dvd player and vcr in the closet. I removed one of the shelves to do so. Also my hutch is amazing. I'm happy to have a nice room and room mate.

OMG choir is so amazing! I want to have Mr. Hebert's babies. He is such a good director. Watch out y'all we might sound good this year. OH YEAH how could I forget two great things Mr. Hebert said tonight.

"I know tonight I'm being a Bitch."
"That makes me moist."

And of course how could you forget him licking his fingers and making a sizzling noise when it was just SENIORS doing a warm-up.

He's fucking awesome. He's also 48 and appears to be about 30 so snaps to him for looking young and having good skin at nearly 50.

wutEVA

Graham

another update way to close to the one i made earlier today

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 04:08:55 GMT

cool t-shirts

restraining orders

applications to interlochen

fucked up life

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 20:54:32 GMT

Even better than Justin getting a car:

I got written up the first 5 minutes of school.

Yeah, so on Sunday Morning, technically before I was supposed to even be here Andrea, Jason, and I decided to go get some yummy coffee to refresh ourselves before the long day ahead.

T-Bone comes up to me and today asks me if I went downtown on Sunday. Well I said yeah, but I was confused. Then she asked me who was with me, and I was like "umm Andrea...ummm Jason...ummm I don't know." She told me how it was a poor decision, and the circumstances of last year aka it sounded sort of like blah, blah, blah.

I want to vomit because of this. I am living with Nazis. Is it to late to audition for Interlochen?

Since there is no rule about hating people I HATE:

T-bone, right now I do, I'll get over it
Whoever told on us, or However they found out about us going downtown, before I was technically here.
The System, Bunk the system I H A T E it.

Fuck the library is closing, Goodbye.

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 01:30:20 GMT

The madness. The complete madness that goes on in this little world we live in.

Over use of Holla is going to have ot die down.

Muralicious people, you know who you are: I miss you/need you/will have your babies if you could be here with me.

Mmmmm. Tasty.
Graham

HOLLA

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 00:06:27 GMT

Well, Well, Well. I guess I could say its all off to a good start. I'm basically just updating for the purpose of updating. I'm trying to watch a movie. OH and by the way, some people need to get over themselves. And then of course so do I.

Tomorrow is national Kool-Aid day apparently so a very boastful shout out to my roomie, David Smith. He is such a beautiful person, I can feel heartache at the end of the year already. I don't think I can imagine someone being so nice to me. Awww, David you are the best roomie ever.

Umm I love so many people so i can't make a list but you know who you are. And I love you.

Graham

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 14:32:36 GMT

So my modem at home is officially F***ED up.

Damn it no internet, screw this.

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 04:36:19 GMT

i had to put this up as soon as i did it.

A public entry for fun

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 06:57:23 GMT

Hmm. I don't have much to say except that I got home at 1:30 am and I sat down and wrote letters to people. I decided it is more fun to do a mass mailing all at once instead of sending them individually. I get to see how fast things reach certain places. My letter from Judi took about 16 hrs to get to my house so lets see if any of these can beat that.

Umm. I'm completely changing my schedule around for next year, just because I can. There is no possible way to have a free first because it's when my music classes will be (god forbid). I decided my excuse to the Dean would be to make myself more appealing to colleges. Which is actually the case. I have no AP classes and I need some if I am considering Vassar.

Catch a falling star and put it in you pocket*

The hallway is finished. I've convinced my mom to donate stuff instead of having a yard sale. Finally my home is becoming a place I want to live.

Never let it fade away*

OPINION POLL:

Do you think I should take Spanish III? I really don't know what I want to do. Should I choose to be miserable and have the credit. And be sure that I will not be turned down from a college because I don't have enough Foreign Language Credits. Or do I have a lovely chunk of my time renewed to me. And allow myself to either take another class or run free. I have to know your true honest opinion. Please let me know, especially current graduates, since I think you guys would know what would happen it either situation.

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 04:40:34 GMT

okay all the children of the world

I'm making all posts friends only...not to say that I wont change my mind and re-nig on this, I just don't want my journal hanging out there for everyone.

Leave a comment if you don't see any other entries, you ain't my friend...yet.

I can't stress enough, just leave a comment, I know that sometimes these little things may seem a little I don't know intimidating but just leave a comment and you are more than likely going to be friended. I don't know maybe it's just me, but I have, not commented before.